Hope

As the words “Oh come to the alter. . . His arms are opened wide” dance softly in the background and the stubborn fight of bed time summers with sighs and slowed breathing. I sit here doing my evening Bible reading. I quickly come across this verse. Hebrews 6:19. Once again I’m stopped and am in Awe! Why?

Because the word Hope has appeared again. No it isn’t surprising to come across hope in the Bible. But it is that since Friday night as I discussed my vision board I made a year ago with friends and shared the word Hope, I have begun to see and hear it over and over again!

I don’t know where it is going but I can tell where it has been in my life. Why was Hope written on my vision board? Because without hope, one becomes hopeless. What does a hopeless person do? Resign. Resignation leads to apathy. And apathy is less than even hate. Apathy is the opposite of love not hate. Hate is a passion and a misguided sense of purpose. Apathy lacks purpose, love, and a future.

I pray you have never been to a state of pure apathy caused by a sense of hopelessness. There is a famous psychologist who studied this concept. In a sad designed study a dog was set in a box without a way to escape and zapped. The dog fought and try to find a way out until he didn’t. Eventually the dog laid down and just laid there being zapped. Once the dog had resigned the dog was give a chance to escape the zaps, but by now the dog had stopped trying. So even with the chance of freedom the dog laid there and allowed itself to be zapped. That right there is where some people end up in their lives. So hopeless. And truth is, I have been there.

But it was at that bottom I learned to look up. In my life, that point brought me to know God. At first it was slivers of light through the darkness like refraction of light from a prism. The closer I got to Him the right the light. Then Hope sprang Firth. The more trust the greater my Hope!

What started as small as a mustard seed grew and rooted and grew. Till one day my hope lead me to leap of the ledge with nothing but God to build me a parachute!

So the world Hope I wrote on my vision board represents what I received as a gift in my darkest times and even more what I hope to spread to the world!

So take this verse and this story today, if you are struggling with anything: doubt, fear, shame, anxiety, depression, stress, discontentment. . . And grasp this sliver of light. There is a hope for you have a purpose and a gift to the world only you can provide. I pray over you today, allow yourself to believe again. The world needs you!

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/rom.15.13.niv

I am Enough

These are the hardest things I have ever had to try to say. For deep seeded reason, saying I am enough to myself is a struggle. Just getting the words out.

When I tell people my story many have responded that I should write a book or movie about it. Quite crazy the desperate and terrible places I have been to feel loved or wanted. And as I age, I become more and more of a porcupine, keeping people very far from me. The lows I have settled in relationships and the times I lost my voice and allowed others to make my life choices, dictate my steps have left a gap of unfulfilled dreams but no regrets.

I have become so close to my Heavenly Father. From so many abandoning and abusing me, I learned to lean deeply into Him. And when He is the only one you have, your relationship with Him can never be lost. It’s a most beautiful thing. I have conversations with Christians who are in shock of how I speak to Him. Telling me I cannot say that to Him. But I am His daughter and He is my daddy. He knows me better than I know myself to deny the words I feel in my heart or mind is lying to someone who already knows the truth. I can come before Him open and raw.

I’m not here for pity or reveal in my relationship. Au contre! I come to show you that no matter how you feel about yourself or how alone you feel. God loves and is there.

Years of struggling with looking in the mirror, with believing the cruelest words spoken over me, and believing I was a failure from repetitive accusations. I have once again believed the dreams laid in my heart as a young girl. They have never changed. The dreams were suppressed by words of harsh broken people. I always contain a little fire within my soul, deep burning passions. Ambition, and strength.

I wanted to be honest, meek, loyal, forgiving, obedient, and nurturing. Ha funny how those can be beaten into doormat, hated, abandoned, and taken advantage of. Nevertheless, the truth remained deep within my soul a purpose greater than myself.

Many nights of Prayer in December made me face these past demons and learn the dream again. This time now awards or titles or certifications needed to prove what was there all along.

Perfectionism, goal attaining, Adair’s of being alone- they don’t hold a bar on your worth. No does the size of the group who hangs around you. At the end of the day there is only One you have to be accountable to.

Honesty has cost me friendships and other things, but I have always been blessed by God for He searches the heart. I keep people at bay from fear of the past but I know I love deeply for them more than they will ever know. But God sees that. He knows.

Each day, as I face the past, and move towards the future and learn to say: I am enough. God is able to heal this wounds to allow me to better in the future.

So say it with me. I am enough.

And begin today to walk your own journey towards believing those same words about yourself.

God bless.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:17-18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/2co.3.17-18.niv

Check out the documentary Enough with Chonda Pierce

Discouraged?

Sometimes life things don’t go the way we plan. Guaranteed for refill motivated and empowered and we push and push and then nothing. Those are the hardest time for me. I muster up the strength and the time and I push and I grit and I see nothing from it. I’m highly motivated by meeting the goals and seeing something come from what I’m working. When on I don’t; I don’t sit well.

Ah but I don’t write this to be negative, the point is exactly the opposite! It is in these moments, it is in these times, that I realize that I have taken on the burden of life by myself!

I picked up my bags. I took off running ahead of where I need to be alone without the one I need. These moments of drain and self doubt, it is in these moments, that I know and stop, “oh I need to rest. I need to wait. I need to trust.”

So before I knew God these are the times that would bring me down. These were the times that I would break and these are the times that I would just want to quit. However now that I know the Lord my God my Father, my Comforter, my Protector, my Provider; I realize when I have pushed myself and I ran to the fullest and I hit the wall and I stop and I start to feel discouraged; it is time for me to rest. Not quit. To look up and trust. Look up because it is in this time but I know I know I know God will never let me go! Thank you Jesus!

God’s promises always come true. As long as I am doing what I am called to do and staying in relationship with God. The discouragement will melt away. I pretty sure it is the devil whispering in my ear that I’m not enough. That I have once again failed. But now I am created new in the image of God wash clean of my sins and so are you if you’ve been baptized and you except His love! We are no longer dead but made clean and new and beautiful in His image!

God’s plans are better and more than you or I could ever think or imagine. God has us in the palm of His hand!

Today look up and Pray

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/php.4.6-7.niv

And know He will be there and you will fulfill every step, every plan, and His promises will always come to be!

21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” (‭Isaiah‬ ‭30‬:‭21‬ NIV)

Now

Hello Beautiful,

Yes you, the lovely wonderful person who is reading this article right now. I want to point out a serious truth you need to know. Something you need to hear, but really need to grasp and understand.

You are loved.

You have value.

You have worth.

RIGHT NOW!

God sees you and cherished you right where you are at.

There is no when I am successful of skinny or perfect. There is not when I have a clean house or my children listen. No not when but Now! You are love now.

And God has a plan and purpose for you and He will meet you right where you are Now!

You are Loved.

You have worth.

You have purpose.

NOW

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭139:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/psa.139.13.niv