I am Enough

These are the hardest things I have ever had to try to say. For deep seeded reason, saying I am enough to myself is a struggle. Just getting the words out.

When I tell people my story many have responded that I should write a book or movie about it. Quite crazy the desperate and terrible places I have been to feel loved or wanted. And as I age, I become more and more of a porcupine, keeping people very far from me. The lows I have settled in relationships and the times I lost my voice and allowed others to make my life choices, dictate my steps have left a gap of unfulfilled dreams but no regrets.

I have become so close to my Heavenly Father. From so many abandoning and abusing me, I learned to lean deeply into Him. And when He is the only one you have, your relationship with Him can never be lost. It’s a most beautiful thing. I have conversations with Christians who are in shock of how I speak to Him. Telling me I cannot say that to Him. But I am His daughter and He is my daddy. He knows me better than I know myself to deny the words I feel in my heart or mind is lying to someone who already knows the truth. I can come before Him open and raw.

I’m not here for pity or reveal in my relationship. Au contre! I come to show you that no matter how you feel about yourself or how alone you feel. God loves and is there.

Years of struggling with looking in the mirror, with believing the cruelest words spoken over me, and believing I was a failure from repetitive accusations. I have once again believed the dreams laid in my heart as a young girl. They have never changed. The dreams were suppressed by words of harsh broken people. I always contain a little fire within my soul, deep burning passions. Ambition, and strength.

I wanted to be honest, meek, loyal, forgiving, obedient, and nurturing. Ha funny how those can be beaten into doormat, hated, abandoned, and taken advantage of. Nevertheless, the truth remained deep within my soul a purpose greater than myself.

Many nights of Prayer in December made me face these past demons and learn the dream again. This time now awards or titles or certifications needed to prove what was there all along.

Perfectionism, goal attaining, Adair’s of being alone- they don’t hold a bar on your worth. No does the size of the group who hangs around you. At the end of the day there is only One you have to be accountable to.

Honesty has cost me friendships and other things, but I have always been blessed by God for He searches the heart. I keep people at bay from fear of the past but I know I love deeply for them more than they will ever know. But God sees that. He knows.

Each day, as I face the past, and move towards the future and learn to say: I am enough. God is able to heal this wounds to allow me to better in the future.

So say it with me. I am enough.

And begin today to walk your own journey towards believing those same words about yourself.

God bless.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:17-18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/2co.3.17-18.niv

Check out the documentary Enough with Chonda Pierce

I Knew You Were Trouble

Yes you, I am talk about you. Haha Na I’m joking. But in deep thought this evening the song popped in my head. Now I wouldn’t necessarily select Taylor Swift as a profound evening of deep thought, but learned along time ago to go with my brains thought processes lol

In the song, a young girl follows down this rabbit hole of bad choices following the wild and crazy life of a narcissistic party guy who brings her down and gets her into troubled situations. Nevertheless there is a deep thought through the pop music and sweet girlish voice. . . Loosing yourself in pursuit of feelings.

Have you ever lost yourself to the world? Fear? Shame? Doubt? Wild abandonment? Pursuit of what you thought to be love? I have. The trouble tale for another time. But today let’s lean into the idea of 2018 beginning a refocus and reacceptance of who we are as a person. Settling into our imperfections and rekindling the dreams and passion we hold most dear in our hearts. Maybe you’re not meant to be the next pop star or travel the whole world with six kids in tote. However, maybe traveling outside of our routine for a change and chance to meet new people and spend time with your kids in a new way. Maybe singing locally to support a good cause or at your church to lead others in profound worship. Drawing for the love of it. Dancing with reckless abandonment on a beach barefoot with only the sings in your heart because you can! The beautiful thing about youth is the passion.

Take a moment today yo reflect, pray, and rekindle the passions in your heart. Yet instead of walking into the next situation of trouble use your wisdom and experience to gauge those passions to healthier life choices that light your soul on fire!

God made you unique and placed the desires in your heart.

Troubled

Young Living item featured in picture: toxic free Adore Lipstick ❤

Community

There is nothing like it. As humans, yes even the most introverted anti social of ya all, where designed to desire and thrive off community! Sometimes these days I have noticed this is lacking. People are always rushing, even with scheduled events for this party , to this play date, to this lunch etc. People have hundreds to thousands of friends on Facebook. In this and that group. Connect via Instagram or Snap Chat but quality meaningful community is genuinely missing. Last night I invited some of my fellow oil lovers over. We for the larger part only have the common factor of loving our oils, but it was incredible! Potluck style is so nice these days with busy lives and trying new things always sparks fun conversation! The children had a blast just being kids in and out of the house! The Purification oil diffusing kept the outside annoyances from coming in, the mushrooms where sautéed in oregano oil, and shots of Ningxia Red always starts great conversations about fitness, detox, weight management, and so much more.

But the best part, is everyone left just a bit happier. Truly being connected with others means so much to nourishing our souls and lives. No judgement, no pretense, no agenda. It was amazing!

If you have not join my oily team I would love you to be a part of it! To get connected and build relationships is such a wonderful thing! To be on this oily journey to wellness and a lifestyle of toxic free living with a group of different but beautifully made people is exactly my reason for being here. Means the world to mean!

I look forward to expanding my meetings and maybe one day hosting larger and larger events with so much love, food, oils, and community. For now YOU will be in my prayers. Take a step out and become a part of a community ❤

God bless!

Mushrooms

1 TBS avocado oil

1/4 fresh garlic clove

8 oz of baby Bella mushrooms

A pinch of salt

1 drop of Young Living Vitality Oregano Essential Oil

Sautéed together on med till all golden ❤

Eat with a happy and relaxed group of friends 😉