Reality of an invisible Disease

You don’t look sick:

Oh no I just have Fibromyalgia, degenerative disk disease, bursitis, tendinitis, herniated disks, anemia, vitamin deficiencies, arthritis, and Ehlers. . .

No big just means ever system in my body requires 10 times longer to heal from every bump, running can land me bed ridden for a month, I have the energy of a dying person, and everything hurts all the time and the doctors throw about 5-8 meds they want to curb the pain, alter your mood and brain chemistry, kill you liver/heart, become addicted, and majority of the time they still don’t touch the pain. . .

If you never understood how much effort if causes me to get up every day just know this flu going around felt like a runny nose with a bit of a hot

Flash. . . Everything else felt the same: why? because it always hurts, I’m always tired, and life never stops for anything. I still moved, I still cleaned, I still took care of my kids, still cooked, still went to work. . . Well I took a few days off to not spread infection.

It’s the cards I have been dealt and sometimes I envy the wheelchair rolling by in a store. Sometimes I wish I could wear I big sign saying “it hurts please help!” Sometimes I want to crawl in a bed and stream mind numbing tv shows and never have to move again.

I fight every day to get through the basics and still fail. Do you know how hard it is for an ambitious, athletic, perfectionist to not be able to complete her todo list because she physically cannot move. At times yes a joint or muscle will just stop responding! How bad I want to just go run and anything more than a random 50m dash for fun on a really good day will take you out for a month!

How people critique your expenses on supportive supplements but fully support you going and getting drugged up so you can have a psychotic break and never be able to work again? Seriously?!? Really

This body is the weight I will bare for the rest of my life but thing is, God knows I’m a survivor and a fighter. I don’t quit. I won’t quit. Especially encouraging people to address their wellness and health of their self and families. I promise you your body and those around you need to be toxic free as much as possible at least in your own home!

I feel the effects much more quickly especially when I go to a “none clean” those houses people think are REALLY clean (bleck means more toxic!)

I don’t want pity, understand sure, compassion great, but in truth I want freedom for every from the poisons that plague society!

Go toxic free today!

I am Enough

These are the hardest things I have ever had to try to say. For deep seeded reason, saying I am enough to myself is a struggle. Just getting the words out.

When I tell people my story many have responded that I should write a book or movie about it. Quite crazy the desperate and terrible places I have been to feel loved or wanted. And as I age, I become more and more of a porcupine, keeping people very far from me. The lows I have settled in relationships and the times I lost my voice and allowed others to make my life choices, dictate my steps have left a gap of unfulfilled dreams but no regrets.

I have become so close to my Heavenly Father. From so many abandoning and abusing me, I learned to lean deeply into Him. And when He is the only one you have, your relationship with Him can never be lost. It’s a most beautiful thing. I have conversations with Christians who are in shock of how I speak to Him. Telling me I cannot say that to Him. But I am His daughter and He is my daddy. He knows me better than I know myself to deny the words I feel in my heart or mind is lying to someone who already knows the truth. I can come before Him open and raw.

I’m not here for pity or reveal in my relationship. Au contre! I come to show you that no matter how you feel about yourself or how alone you feel. God loves and is there.

Years of struggling with looking in the mirror, with believing the cruelest words spoken over me, and believing I was a failure from repetitive accusations. I have once again believed the dreams laid in my heart as a young girl. They have never changed. The dreams were suppressed by words of harsh broken people. I always contain a little fire within my soul, deep burning passions. Ambition, and strength.

I wanted to be honest, meek, loyal, forgiving, obedient, and nurturing. Ha funny how those can be beaten into doormat, hated, abandoned, and taken advantage of. Nevertheless, the truth remained deep within my soul a purpose greater than myself.

Many nights of Prayer in December made me face these past demons and learn the dream again. This time now awards or titles or certifications needed to prove what was there all along.

Perfectionism, goal attaining, Adair’s of being alone- they don’t hold a bar on your worth. No does the size of the group who hangs around you. At the end of the day there is only One you have to be accountable to.

Honesty has cost me friendships and other things, but I have always been blessed by God for He searches the heart. I keep people at bay from fear of the past but I know I love deeply for them more than they will ever know. But God sees that. He knows.

Each day, as I face the past, and move towards the future and learn to say: I am enough. God is able to heal this wounds to allow me to better in the future.

So say it with me. I am enough.

And begin today to walk your own journey towards believing those same words about yourself.

God bless.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:17-18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/2co.3.17-18.niv

Check out the documentary Enough with Chonda Pierce

Best Year Yet!

Good morning beautiful,

Here it is, the first day of January! It’s a new year and so many memories and adventures await! Really does a one second make a difference, at midnight it may not feel like it, but for those who choose to celebrate beginnings every second counts.

Now is the chance to evaluate, pray, dream, and change. Small is huge in life. They say habits form us. The small mundane tasks we don’t even think about. That’s what makes us? Yes.

I would love to hear what you plan to do, what you plan to become, and even more so how you are going to get there! Some people pick words, some goals. I say do you. Do what you love and how you love to do it! Check lists, vision boards, books, gym membership, travel savings jars, so many things can come up to help you go to the next steps. Here are a few things you can also add to make this year the best year yet!

1. Smile!

Yes drop the rest B face! Yep we get caught up in worries, troubles, trials we forget to smile and it actual become a habit not to! Start off by taking a few minutes each morning when you wake up to sit and smile. Trust me! Life changing but so simple!

2. Get the toxic stuff out of your house this year!!

My first suggestion of course is use Young Living products!! But to be honest I just want your family safe and healthy. Baking soda, vinegar, Castile soap are basic cleaning products that go a far way!

3. Pray!!!

Leaning into God can move mountains and give you peace or strength like nothing else in this world. The heart pains tugging at you soul usually mean there is a God shape hole in your heart for it longs to be in relationship with Him. Prayer is powerful.

Looking forward to this amazing year with you! Would love to hear your words, goals, and ideas!

God bless!

Living by your heart

Feelings are just a signal, a sign a warning or awareness. They should not guide your actions or decisions. So many times we find ourselves believing our heart is our feelings. But the heart is deeper. Our heart reaches into our soul and our dreams come alive in its depths!

However, it is not an illogical feeling driven spacey arena! Compassion is caring for others pain and acting upon it. Grace is love and forgiveness in action or in action (if you first feeling was repayment). Love is sacrifice, unselfish, thoughtfulness (require to think about someone!), and not jealous.

God created our hearts and is the true example of living by your heart. The Bible is the greatest love story. It tells of How the Lord of everything, have His son in order to defeated death and get a chance to have you in Heaven with Him forever!!

So Living by your heart is not some reckless abandonment of logic nor an emotional roller coaster of drama and death (like a very famous teenage tale of woe), but to pursue your deepest desires placed on your heart while living out a life that pours goodness, sacrifice, love, grace, compassion in action!

2018 is upon us! It’s time to live your life to the fullest! Let your heart free from the bondage of closed doors and also in full control of our smarts in a purpose drive direction for the betterment of all!

May God bless you and others through you!

Haters, Bakers, and Holiday shakers

Hey how are you?

It’s December. This month can bring out the worst in people. It can bring out the depression, the chill, the Scrooge’s of the world. It can also bring out the closet singers, really tacky clothing, and also obnoxiousness! Please don’t give him another drink!!!

Nevertheless, it really is a season like no other. The joy, love, community, and the lights!!! Gosh I love the lights!

So how are you doing this season?

Well for me it is a hard time. December can hold so many memories. There is something about this time of year that can bring out the best and the most challenging times in our lives. Whether you call or the holidays or Merry Christmas. Whether you play Christmas music 24/7 or switch radio stations just to avoid “those annoying songs”, this time of year stirs inside you.

I hope that as you walk the chilly streets. I pray that as you glimpse the twinkling lights. I wish upon a Christmas star, that this year it will be a little bit different. A little bit more amazing than it has ever been. Rekindle the magical joyous feeling with a whiff of peppermint. That a snowflake on your nose may wisher to your heart you are pure as precious child. That the lights may glow the beautiful heart with in you to shine how incredible you are!

This December make it one to remember!

Love the haters, enjoy the holiday baking, and join in with those crazy shakers! Grab a cup of cheer (whether it is a Ningxia shot or a glass of wine!)

Let’s choose today to make it not the best time of the year but the best of our years yet!