Nine years later

Happy Veterans Day:

This time nine years ago I was preparing to go to #bootcamp. From sunny ☀️ #florida I made the trip to #chicago to spend 10 weeks in boot camp. Yep I was there through the winter. After a bunch of immunizations, cafeteria food, and marching through #snow ❄️, three wisdom teeth extractions, and a chronic cold that turned into a sinus infection. . . My legs started to give out. We all assumed shin splints, a few days marching in these shoes right here to give my shins a break from the boots. But it didn’t help. I pushed through my end of boot camp finals and past but the pain didn’t stop. After boot, I went on to schooling. I was placed limited duty, and the medication trial and error began. The extensive labs, medical tests, arguments with doctors and looks of disapproval or disbelief ensued for years. Family, friends, co workers. . . All of them couldn’t fathom -and many didn’t care to try-

Living with an invisible disease is the more discouraging, self worth crushing, dream crushing thing I have ever lived through. Everything hurt, all the time. That soreness after a three hour workout, plus the sunburn from a week at the beach, plus delivering a kid, plus stepping in an ant pile, while mosquitoes attempted to fly around and bite. . . That’s what I had. If you laughed or danced for a min or went to a theme park- you were lying about the pain. But the truth is some days you have enough guts to know you’ll be bed ridden for a week but God forbid you be stuck locked in your #home another moment without hope for the #future. And eventual it got to the point where the doctors had nothing left to say. According to their tests I was great. Their drugs had terrible side effects and many were rules useless by their tests but they promised it would help. No they don’t, they don’t help! So I choose to fight for myself, my life and my kids. With the same passion I brought to my fooor routine as a competitive #gymnast. With the same selfless desire to serve and #bravery to take on the world that brought me into the military, with the same trust in my body to have two children naturally I stood up for myself and said NO & found plants #hopeforthefuture

Nine years later, I pulled this pair out of my sea bag and began. It’s not a marathon yet, but it’s a future filled with hope and a purpose.

Mission Driven Heart

I have a heart for loving. Nonprofits, Mother Teresa, Refresh, Oprah, Ellen, Martin Luther King Jr. and on and on and on the list can go of those that have influenced and/or touched my hearts. Oprah actually mentioned that as a young adult she had opened her hand and said to the Lord, Use me. I just loved that! And that is the point I stand in my life right now. Use me, Lord.

At the same time I have had to learn to use my over active mind in a very structured way for many many many years. It was not until recently when I was reading Harv Eker and it pointed out the mindset of BOTH. Having the ability to solve problems and develop the chance to have your cake and eat it. Usually that is perceived to be around a negative connotation right up there with “Grass is always greener”. But he had a point that I could not shake.

I am an INFJ, a rare personality type according to the Myers Briggs psychological test, I have lived through many many varying experiences in one life time, and I have the heart to help others. This pretty much means. I am passion and driven to help a lot of people. Narrowing down my passions has been a struggle for years and I know it is why I have never been full contempt in any one job. I love it, I excel at it, and I work hard. Nevertheless, I always get restless. I want to do more.

I get that focus is a word I am really honing in on, but I am learning that for me, I can hone in on a few things very deeply. This fulfills a need in my soul to challenged, engaged, and of course, helping more people!

Crazy stuff, I know! If you’ve gotten this far I bet you are thinking, why this gal is way to into herself. But that is not it! I wrote this to expand why my why is big and my projects multiple.

In the words of Dr. Mike ” Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.”

Moving forward I cannot wait to see where in the Universe I will go and would love nothing more to have you along side with me!

Look forward to up and new content! I cannot wait!

Save the boobies!

Save the boobies! (Just saying lol)

Everyone knows someone this has effected! It’s some of the most fun campaign across the nation! But the truth is (and of MOST cancer) that only a small fraction is caused by genetics and with proper PREVENTIVE measures we can sure fire limit the number of cases every year!

Yes love that there is a fight for a cure and so grateful my friends who have fought and won are still here with us! Even if a little worn from the intensive treatments! But there are are those that are not here any more. Cancer and cancer treatments take thousands.

I lost my grandmother this year to Cancer. I wish I could have done something more for her, but for YOU and your loved ones I can!

Flooding your body with fruits and veggies can be simple!

Plant based wellness and home care/cleaning. Is possible and affordable!

If you are ready to stand up for your health and the health of those you love please message me! I would love to join with you on the journey to save and prevent what can be prevented!

Hope

As the words “Oh come to the alter. . . His arms are opened wide” dance softly in the background and the stubborn fight of bed time summers with sighs and slowed breathing. I sit here doing my evening Bible reading. I quickly come across this verse. Hebrews 6:19. Once again I’m stopped and am in Awe! Why?

Because the word Hope has appeared again. No it isn’t surprising to come across hope in the Bible. But it is that since Friday night as I discussed my vision board I made a year ago with friends and shared the word Hope, I have begun to see and hear it over and over again!

I don’t know where it is going but I can tell where it has been in my life. Why was Hope written on my vision board? Because without hope, one becomes hopeless. What does a hopeless person do? Resign. Resignation leads to apathy. And apathy is less than even hate. Apathy is the opposite of love not hate. Hate is a passion and a misguided sense of purpose. Apathy lacks purpose, love, and a future.

I pray you have never been to a state of pure apathy caused by a sense of hopelessness. There is a famous psychologist who studied this concept. In a sad designed study a dog was set in a box without a way to escape and zapped. The dog fought and try to find a way out until he didn’t. Eventually the dog laid down and just laid there being zapped. Once the dog had resigned the dog was give a chance to escape the zaps, but by now the dog had stopped trying. So even with the chance of freedom the dog laid there and allowed itself to be zapped. That right there is where some people end up in their lives. So hopeless. And truth is, I have been there.

But it was at that bottom I learned to look up. In my life, that point brought me to know God. At first it was slivers of light through the darkness like refraction of light from a prism. The closer I got to Him the right the light. Then Hope sprang Firth. The more trust the greater my Hope!

What started as small as a mustard seed grew and rooted and grew. Till one day my hope lead me to leap of the ledge with nothing but God to build me a parachute!

So the world Hope I wrote on my vision board represents what I received as a gift in my darkest times and even more what I hope to spread to the world!

So take this verse and this story today, if you are struggling with anything: doubt, fear, shame, anxiety, depression, stress, discontentment. . . And grasp this sliver of light. There is a hope for you have a purpose and a gift to the world only you can provide. I pray over you today, allow yourself to believe again. The world needs you!

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/rom.15.13.niv

Let Go and Let God

Let go and Let God I heard for the first time about five years ago. At first I would say it over the big obstacle I was facing. At that time my husband I abandoning myself and our children. Then the daily small stuff that annoyed me. But today the meaning is something much more powerful and meaningful.

You see, I didn’t see that this statement pertained to my whole life. Letting go of your life over the hands of God sounds preposterous from the world view. “Well you have to work, you have to do this, it’s your responsibility to do this, don’t be lazy or a fool” and as well as all that motivational speeches sound they are truly a prison cell.

Don’t get me wrong I have every intention of working hard. I always have. I was the honor roll, honors classes, competitive athlete, military leader through boot camp, etc etc. I enjoy working. But not working for the sake of working. Worst of all to me is that set time. You have to be here at this time and cannot leave till this time. I don’t know about you but that point right there drives me crazy! I understand scheduling a meeting or holding a class at a certain time, yes I understand time is essential. But what if the meetings are done, the paper work finished and filed? Go home to your family!! Lol I suppose for me it is in essence an entrepreneurial spirit I didn’t realize I had before. I like structure, planners, and promptness, but I believe life should be lived not lost to the clock.

So after years of making it just barely. I’m finally embracing this phrase to the fullest. I have search my soul, I have prayed for hours, sought mentoring advice, and let go of the world’s ideas. Nothing in me regrets and I will definitely miss those I loved dearly. But am sure I will see again. And I am stepping out into a season of living with passion and purpose but about all I’m giving my life over to God. It is no longer my will, my struggling to figure everything out and scrap and run the hamster wheel of “life”

No more. I am letting go of the world view that says I have to do this and I have to do that in order to be respected, a good mother, a proper hard worker, stable, provider. WRONG!

I am worth to be respected because I am a human. And we are called to love and respect each other.

I am a good mother. I may not parent the way you do or believe as they do, but I know I take the utmost care of the kids God has placed in my hands to raise.

I have always worked hard and if anyone thinks and less of me then they don’t know me. My priorities are different from yours most likely and I won’t bust myself for the sake of business. But I will and do work my butt off.

As for stability. Life was never meant to be comfortable or stable. Jesus said the trails will come! I’m not the rock and I am not the provider. Those belong to God. I am simply a steward. And not I am going to unbury the gifts He has given me and I am going to step out on faith and trust that when I invest my skills, talents, heart, gifts, love into the world: that investment will reap abundance.

Lord here is my life!

So yes I am no longer teaching elementary special needs students.

I am technically by the worlds standards: jobless

But in my Lords eyes, I am fully open for business. I have let go and I am letting God!

If you ever have any prayer request or want to learn more about what I do please feel free to send me a message. I would love to hear from you!

God bless!